“Chicago” is a first-person narrative that follows the life of a young African American man as he grows and matures living in Chicago. This piece was inspired by a film Sidney Poitier acted in called “The Defiant Ones” the critically acclaimed movie “Moonlight” . This piece follows this young man as he fulfills the unspoken prophecy that the system that was put in place long before his existence lays out. It deals with the idea of self-preservation and the personal responsibility that grows within a person over their life with some unintended circumstances. Along that same thread of thought, this piece also toys with the idea of existentialism being nonexistent as the main character doesn’t even try to justify the unjust actions that he commits.
Chicago
I come from a place where power is neither given nor granted, it is earned. Every day you must wake up with the will to survive by any means possible or else that will be the day everything ends. Our oxygen has long since been polluted by the sickly, scent of marijuana and the stench of dried liquor layered over our sidewalks. First birthdays and first loves are replaced with first wounds and first scars. Knowing that there is no way you can get out of that situation, knowing that you only have two options “KILL OR BE KILLED” you come to the realization that fear isn’t a luxury you’re allowed to have. That feeling of cold metal in your hand, that feeling of finally being able to control things around you, that feeling of having the power of life and death within your thumb and forefinger is something that can never be forgotten.
At the age of 8 I lost everyone I ever loved. My father died in a prison, fatally stabbed to death because of a petty squabble over a hundred dollars that he stole to buy cocaine. My mother was never the same after Dad left us, doing drugs to cope with the pain of the gaping hole left in her life without my him. One day I came home and I saw her on the couch with a needle jammed into her arm and I guess she never woke up. My sister died walking home from school when a single shot rang out from the car across from her, clipping her in her ligamenta flava leaving her paralyzed for the rest of her life. so when people ask me “How is your day, sir” I can’t help but wonder whether or not we come from the same universe.
So don’t bother to ask me why I wear this mask, don’t bother asking who I am. I am nothing besides a product of the system I was placed within. I attack and kill my own because it justifies why I even choose to live in this pitiful existence anyway. I hold up my black fist trying to show power when my actions show nothing but weakness. True power doesn’t require violence, boastfully parading about, leaving a trail of chaos in its wake, true power doesn’t feel the need to reassure others that it exists, lashing out whenever it feels threatened…. true power knows when to remain calm, carefully calculating every decision and weighing the consequences. I am not the face of power, do not fear me; I am not the face of crime, do not be afraid……I am the face of the one who lost himself.