I have been reflecting, of late, on my blogging experience throughout this class. When looking back at my blog post arch over this semester I could not help but cringe just a little. Looking back at all of them, I was not proud, especially of my first two posts. I wrote them not knowing how to write on a blog nor what to write about, but before I delve into my growth over this semester, I need to go further back in time.
When I was a kid, I distinctly remember experiencing and hating growing pains. My father would comfort me by saying that growing pains wouldn’t last forever and that they were necessary for me to physically grow up and be an adult. That always shut me up because I wanted to be older than I was, I admired the older kids and their interests and admired their freedom. Those older kids seem to be able to do whatever they wanted, and god did I want that kind of freedom, that liberation and if growing pain was a part of the process of achieving that freedom—then I thought to myself; “so be it”. Now, I knew that in order to get to be old enough for that freedom I’d have to physically be larger than I was and I would have to endure those growing pains in order to get bigger. I’m not saying I didn’t still complain about the pain, believe me, I did, but I also learned a valuable life lesson: Growth is and always will be, painful but that is not a good reason to stop growing. I know that this nugget of knowledge may seem like a Hallmark encouragement note but I assure you, dear reader, that hearing something through the grapevine and knowing something for one’s self, are completely different beasts.
When I started these blogs posts for Dr. McCoy’s class at the beginning of the semester, I was extremely intimidated and did not know what to write or how to write them. I posted my first post and I did not do nearly as well as I wanted to. I posted again and had the exact same results. On my third post I thought to myself; “well, if I’m not going to do well I might as well write about something I care about”. I decided to write about apathy because it was relevant to our course but also because I am truly passionate about the topic. I posted my third post and lo and behold I got a far better grade than I had on the first two. Through this process, not only was the understanding of the value of growing pain re-instilled into me but also I learned the true value of being passionate about my writing and how much that changes the quality of my writing output.
I was so discouraged by the first two posts, but I reminded myself of what my father told me and I persevered and grew through the pain of failure. I am so grateful for this experience and because of it, I have learned so much about who I am as a writer and who I am a person. I have learned how to take criticism (well, better than I used to), how to recognize failure as a part of growth, and to never back down from challenging my intellectual self. Although, I think the single most important thing I have learned is that failure is painful, necessary in the learning process and, in the long run, so wonderfully rewarding.