While reflecting on the course epigraphs and what we have read and discussed with our peers, one epigraph resonated with me. The course epigraph I have selected is “It’s incredible that a sentence is ever understood. Mere sounds strung together by some agent attempting to mean something, but the meaning need not and does not confine itself to that intention.”-Percival Everett, Erasure. When I first read this statement before our classes began, it felt simple. Sentences can be complex, sure. However, after we began discussions and readings, I realized there was a completely deeper meaning to this epigraph. During one of our first classes, while discussing Laura Skrzpczyk’s “The Act Of Scaring”, my group put our minds together and assumed that we needed to uncover the designated interpretation that Dr. McCoy had determined it to be. Although she never told us there was only one correct interpretation, my group was used to thinkING in a black-and-white mindset. We asked ourselves, how does a picture of pants correlate to an article about academic probation? We felt comfortable and familiar with the routine of searching for the answer the instructor already knew. The concept of creating our own interpretation felt foreign. After reflecting and working through our thoughts, wrapping ourselves into our own confusion, Iliana confused us even more through her support instead of disapproving our interpretations. She agreed with all of our interpretations, even though they were not similar. Skrzpczyk stated, “In making the letter more focused on the resources available to struggling students rather than a harsh assertion of the problem, students were more willing to put the work in and get their grades up. Those who received the first, almost shameful letter were more likely to drop out of college, and in doing so end their academic partnership” (Skrzpczyk). Skrzpczyk reflected on the idea that the way a message is delivered can alter the meaning. In this case, it was the difference between a harsh warning of academic probation, against a kinder, more gentle message that there were resources available for you to help get you back on track. Even though both of the academic probation letters said the same general message, it was the effect on the structure of the sentence that completely changed the reader’s mindset. Once we focused on this sentence, the idea that interpretation of a message is relevant to each individual became clear. We came to the conclusion that there is never one simple interpretation of a story, novel, poem, or even a sentence. We became more lost in trying to understand the “ideal” meaning of the work, that we were not comprehending that there may be no designated answer. Like the epigraph stated, a sentence is never understood. A sentence can have multiple meanings based on who said it, their tone and their intentions. It can have even more meanings when you are the one who is hearing or reading the sentence. When the class analyzed the “suspicious pants” post, we came up with multiple meanings for the same two words. Who is suspicious? What are they suspicious of? Why? Are the pants suspicious of something else in the room? Are the pants themselves suspicious? Questions began arising from a sentence that seemed simple. After all, a sentence is never understood.
While it may have confused me, all the work we have read and analyzed has made me start thinkING about my goals for myself and my work for the remainder of the course. First, I hope to eliminate the black-and-white mentality that I have acquired from elementary school and my adolescent years. In classes, we were taught that there is one interpretation of a story. “The lamp in the corner of the room symbolizes her mothers death” and “her dress is a metaphor because she loved birds and the ocean”. These were the types of scenarios I experienced throughout my years of schooling. There was no freedom of interpretation, no matter if you felt the work presented expressed a different meaning. I hope for myself that I can be comfortable with having a different interpretation and viewpoint of a piece of literature than those sitting next to me and around me. “A sentence is never understood” is what I aim to continue reminding myself throughout the course. After years of being the student who felt like they were the only person who missed the main idea and meaning of the literature, I hope to make steps into the direction of confidence and flexibility when analyzing pieces of literature.
As I began reading Euripides’ “Bacchae”, I, like most others, was extremely confused on my very first read through. The language was difficult to understand, and the story line seemed bizarre. For example, “Let me see you dressed like a woman, a maenad, a Bacchant, on your way to spy on your mother and her company!” (Bacchae). After reading through a second and third time, and reading feedback from Dr. McCoy, “If you find yourself confused, make lemonade out of the lemon: think about how the confusion might be the point and not a marker of failure or insufficiency on your part”, I started to change my thinking from “this is confusing”, and feelings of frustration, to wondering if that was the author’s goal for the reader. It made me start thinkING and wondering about how we will use Bacchae in connection with Percival Everett’s texts. Truthfully, I do not know anything about this author or his work. Based on the texts we have discussed so far, it makes me curious and slightly confused to know what and how the elements and characteristics will connect the two. Confusion does not necessarily have to be a bad thing, because a sentence is never understood. What makes sense to one does not make sense to all, and no two interpretations will ever be the same on how the work is connected. This experience has created one of my goals for myself this semester to not put all of the blame on myself and my own capabilities for not grasping the concepts or feeling lost and confused, but instead to embrace it. Instead, I hope to be more curious as to why a piece of literature feels so confusing and if the confusion has a purpose.
My main goal for the semester is to work for the process and not the end product, which I tend to do. I am aiming to continue thinkING, and eliminate the thought process of rushing through literature to try and find what others “expect” me to find. I am aiming to be comfortable being uncomfortable.