Red lipstick that paints pain



semefa-signNo, this is not just a picture. Read closely.

As many of you probably know, I have not been in class in the last few weeks. I don’t owe any of you an explantation, except for Professor McCoy. However, since you all are my peers I would rather let you know what I’ve experienced. Through this confession I hope that I can provide some insight.

In the early days of November (after the election), I was walking with my close friend through the walkway on the side of the union, talking about daily gossip and such. As we turned the corner, my friend points out that my name is written on the wall. Now if you were in my position, you would’ve thought your friend was joking…I mean, I even thought she was joking. I didn’t even turn my head at this point because our laughter was overpowering the concern that we should have had. I finally looked up at her and turned my head, still in disbelief.  My friend unthinkably put this picture on social media (i.e snapchat) because of how preposterous this was.  I saw my name written (which is not a common name AT ALL), in might I say not my handwriting with some sort of red paint, although, I later figured out that it was lipstick.

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Reading between the lines


It’s 2 am in the morning and I’m thinking about The Bedford. Go figure.

My mind immediately reverts back to the conversation that was held in class yesterday. Usually I wouldn’t think of such text being so interpretative, intuitive, and even archival. However, today my mind was expanded due to the many elements of the Bedford that are overlooked. When I picked up the book amid previous classes, I automatically assumed that it was just a small printed book containing many words that can be helpful to those who need them. When glancing over The Bedford, I blanked. Even when looking at some of my group members when they unpacked the features of the book, I remained puzzled. Not to presume, but I could guess that many of my peers were as perplexed as I was when asked to do a simple task, that of which being scanning a dictionary.

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Finding similarities between Ralph Kabnis and myself

In some means, we often identify ourselves with what we are accustomed too. We are designed as humans to fully process aspects of our environment which develops our behavioral sense, our judgment, and our moral compass . Our environment can be held responsible for how we are molded as individuals; however, it is our choice to allow our previous experiences to impact the people we become. Our choices are related to Ralph Kabnis in Cane greatly. I came to this conclusion halfway during our class discussion about Kabnis in Cane earlier this month. Continue reading “Finding similarities between Ralph Kabnis and myself”

The indecisiveness of an English major

I often times find myself defending the reasons as to why I chose English as my major. Before attending Geneseo, I was told by many that English was not a major that would bring prosperity. I remember packing for college, contemplating the sacrifices I would have to make for my educational success, even if that meant disappointing some in the process. In spite, I was told countless times by my professor in high school that an English degree would get me nowhere, but in the line at an unemployment office. When asked by most of my friends, faculty members, even esteemed professors at SUNY Geneseo, they ask “Why English?” or  they comment “Hmm. That’s interesting”. Their tone of voice is usually greeted with skepticism, rather than in awe. I came to understand why majoring in English develops an layer of uncertainty to those around me, in context, their reactions makes sense.

As Moran discusses in “Interdisciplinarity”, “English does not make a strong connection between education and training for future careers”. (Moran, 18). Throughout reading, Moran explains the value of English as it is a discipline in itself, more importantly, shaping knowledge on numerous platforms. He elaborates on the principle of English being the framework of multiple fundamentals, including higher acclaimed majors such as Physics or Biology. Analyzing the concept of English through Moran’s critical lens, along with my own reaction, reveals that, in distancing myself from English due to outside perspectives, I am hindering my own educational needs.  While, at face value, I criticized my own choices because of the opinions of other people, rather than focusing on my aspirations. The dubiousness of the major inspires me to look at my education holistically, instead of pondering over the “what if’s.”

However, upon further contemplation, If choosing English as my major meant taking a risk in my academic career, is it really worth it? In brief, sitting in Professor McCoy’s class has only encouraged my expectations upon myself as an English major to grow, but as always, I still have some doubt.