Throughout my younger years of English, I have always outshined my peers drastically. However, during my first semester of college English, I struggled immensely. The class was harder, my peers were smarter and for the very first time, I felt utterly useless in a class that I’d always excelled at. This discouraged me and made it very difficult for me to enjoy the class because I’d spent the last 13 years of my schooling being told I had a gift for English and then, after coming here, I started to think that may have been a horrible mistake.
It was disheartening that a class I’d always loved and looked forward to became the class that I dreaded because I just felt stupid. Over time though, I realized what had been the real mistake. I’d spent years in “honors” and “AP” English classes that really did nothing to prepare me for college. Not because the teachers weren’t great or the course material wasn’t challenging, but because I had always been praised and applauded for my work even when I barely tried, this led to weakening my work ethic.
I was told I was gifted and always received high grades, even when I raced through an assignment. This made me feel as though everything would come this easily, so now when I am met with a challenge I often become discouraged.
We watched a video during class that talked about the differences between a fixed mindset and a growth mindset. Carol Dweck defines these two mindsets as; fixed being similar to mine, thinking talent is given and not grown; people with this mindset believe their abilities are fixed. Growth mindset is the opposite, those people believing that talent is earned and can continually grow through practice.
So, I came into college, after being conditioned by teachers and by myself to have this fixed mindset and was hit by a huge culture shock. All of a sudden, I was not the brightest mind and I had so much to learn. After having this realization I became very interested in why I had such a fixed mindset and how to work toward changing it. I still haven’t made all of the progress I plan to make but this semester really has helped me to see the ways in which I fall short in both study habits as well as motivational aspects of my academic career.
Learning about the aspects of both mindsets and seeing how having a fixed mindset has limited my achievements as well as happiness has really helped me to make progress in working harder to accept challenges instead of being shut down by them.
