My last English teacher in high school did a great job in making sure I would be able to read and write at a college level. He essentially taught me two things: how to understand a story thoroughly and the way in which a proper essay is constructed. He explained that in order to fully grasp something intellectually, one must go from concept to context. This methodology allowed me to enjoy works like Hamlet and Heart of Darkness because I was never lost in the plot and never felt confused about the characters. There was a clear focus on esteemable western works. It was because I was able to recognize the true meaning and beauty behind the aforementioned pieces, as well as others, that I fell in love with Literature. However, if one could just read all day, that would be a job.
I must learn how to write effectively, for that is where success in this field of study lies. Yet, this is where things become difficult for me. I read famous works of literature by people infinitely smarter than me and I became discouraged. Indeed, this is something that many scholars must go through at some point. Acknowledging that I am at the beginning of my literary career helped me move past this mental barrier. People like Harold Bloom and Albert Camus have dedicated their lives to pursuing knowledge, and that probably explains their insights. I digress. The idea of writing academically can be intimidating, and that’s why my teacher did everything he could to show how writing an essay is “moronically simple.” Ladies and gentlemen, the point, evidence, synthesis model! In short, this is a highly effective way to structure an essay. By planning out the ideas you have and their relationship with each other before writing, one can theoretically be allowed to focus on the pizzazz elements of a piece such as diction, syntax, and punctuation. I nailed this process down because I saw it as the magic pill that could solve all my future writing problems. My only objection to this class as a whole is that it was all very straightforward. There was no real opportunity to develop your own interpretation of works, as the teacher settled that problem for us ahead of time.
And so, I arrive at college enrolled in English 203 thinking it is going to be easy. After all, I knew how to write an essay. During the first days of class, many things caught me off-guard. For instance, I picked up on the informality of the setting right away. Every day, we would either get into small groups or one huge circle. This setup strengthened my connections with my peers by encouraging personal and meaningful discussions. It also helped me improve my ability to communicate. Such a capacity helped me to be involved in a group blog post. The academic conversations that were had gave me an opportunity I never really had before, a time to share my ideas. The class felt as if it was run by the students and Professor McCoy was just directing us. She would always have a direct goal for the day such as discovering the meaning or meanings of a new word, analyzing a film, or even interpreting a picture. If I had to give a metaphor to convey what I mean, the best one I can think of is the relationship between a bull and the bullfighter. Specifically, the typical scene in which the man is holding out a red flag to entice the bull to charge forward. We, the students, are the bull waiting to capitalize on our potential. That red flag symbolizes the next step for us as writers (usually the concept of unpacking), and Professor McCoy tries to manipulate our intellectual energy into feverishly going after improvement. Undoubtedly, I grew as a scholar as a result of this dynamic which encouraged collaboration and creating your own insightful interpretations. Looking back on it, the people in this class always seemed happy to be there. Moreover, we understood each other better since we shared a passion for learning and embraced the idea of having a growth mindset.
Another thing that initially surprised me was the literature we were covering. We concentrated on the works of Percival Everett. He is someone who defies categorization and carries an aura of vagueness. I say that because he rarely seems to unpack, leaving the reader thinking. Regardless, both Frenzy and I Am Not Sidney Poitier had a focus on such topics as race and sexuality that I was not expecting. I found the change exciting. Subjects of that nature are rarely looked at with an intellectual eye, at least in my experience. My excitement may have gone too far, as is evident by the first version of my first blog post. There was a sentence in there where I compared Onondaga to one huge bacchanal. It was basically my attempt to test the waters. Even though I knew it was not in good taste, I still wrote it. Perhaps it was a reflection of my idea of college before I came, or maybe I just wanted to use the word “bacchanal”. Regardless, It was an amateur mistake. Upon looking at the feedback on that post from Professor McCoy, I actually sent her an apology email. Of course, she said that it was no big deal but I still felt embarrassed. Embracing the social cognitive theory, I learned what to say and how to act in class over time. This perspective allowed me to create a few introspective blog posts throughout my time here. Among these are “Be Your Own Vlepo!”, “The Soul and Sex”, and “The Importance of Being Present”. My fifth blog post titled “Dropping the Beads” also fits within this category. It was themed on the class activity where we had to string beads together. This process resembles how one must string body paragraphs in an essay along the main idea. As I was physically stringing the beads along, I dropped them twice. It was a powerful moment for me because it reinforced the idea that I am not good enough to be here. I submitted the post not expecting much and that was that. To my amazement, Professor McCoy gave it a hundred. She said that it was “insightful and honest” and revealed how reflection on failure can be an opportunity for growth. This feedback made me feel better about the course and my place in it. I was inspired again, and that helped me be involved in discussions again and complete assignments. This is an example of how writing can help your psyche. I never really explored this before coming to college as I felt my ideas were stupid or invalid. That is really what I liked about this class, it was such a supportive and constructive environment.
I was expecting the course to be black and white, not gray. Before I was a student here, I was always told upfront what a story meant and what the author’s purpose in writing it was. Through engaging in this class, I have come to realize that studying Literature relies heavily on your ability to interpret the story and justify that interpretation. However, one must be able to effectively unpack their reasoning behind their beliefs. I recognized the importance of this idea immediately. This is evident by two of my blog posts that are titled, “Pushing the Envelope” and “How Should We Judge Art?”. Far too often, people say and do things without thinking deeply about them. Incorporating the concept of unpacking my ideas into my life and writing was challenging at first, but I soon became better at it. I found a sense of confidence through my ability to think as a result of this class, which is what I came to college for. This course gave me a new perspective on how to study English.
I feel it is important to establish that I am hoping to become an English teacher. That being said, two methods of teaching this subject were revealed to me as a result of taking both my high school English class and English 203. One in which I assign relatively famous works and hold my students’ hands, guiding them through their interpretations or one where I let my students develop their own abilities to critique literature that focuses on raunchy subjects and modern-day issues. Both are sound and credible processes, but I feel like the latter puts the students at the forefront of the class, not the actual literature. Undoubtedly, this is the ideal method as criticizing literature should promote unique understandings and genuine human connection. It should encourage meaningful personal growth through intellectual leaps of faith. This class helped me gain the courage to create, and that is the service I want to provide for my future students.