Self-improvement, at least for me, is something that seems very difficult to achieve. To better one’s self and to grow as an individual is something people always strive to achieve. However, this process of growth is more difficult to achieve than people give it credit for. This is because it requires the participant to reflect upon their past mistakes and to create a foundation of wisdom based upon the lessons those experiences taught them. It is only human to conduct an action that was wrong or misguided, yet I always wondered why it is so difficult for me to confront these errors of judgment. I had yet to learn the reason until I had entered college and indulged in a variety of courses that would alter my perception of how I lived my life.
My Grandmother in Zulus
In English 203, we read through one of Percival Everett’s poem called, “Zulus.” He utilized alphabetical order as the basis of the poem’s structure providing a sense of organization. Each page contained a single different letter to which he would assemble the poem around. In class, each student was instructed to construct his or her own poems (only A-D) using the alphabetical structure used by Everett. I loved this assignment because in high school I used adore writing poems in my spare time. This activity always relaxed me, especially when I was stressed with school or with family. When everyone finished writing their small poems and read them out loud, I realized something. Everyone had interpreted the prompt in a different way and wrote according to what they believed what needed to be done. For example, one of my groupmates wrote their poem in autumn, while another based it on the literary work, Hamlet. For my poem, I based it around my grandmother.
Reflections After China Night
12/1/18.
Today marked my last China Night.
China Night is the biggest event for the Chinese Culture Club at Geneseo (CCCG). It is the night where we, as a club, put on a performance to inform the Geneseo community about Chinese culture. I have participated in this event as a backstage manager since my freshman year here at Geneseo. Tonight, this magical part of my life has finally come to an end. As I took my final bow on stage, I realized that my time in Geneseo is almost over. As a senior, I only have a semester left before I graduate. Everything eventually comes to an end, that much is true. To see it happen before my own eyes, though, it feels so surreal. On one hand, I’m ecstatic that I am almost finished with the current school year. On the other hand, I’m scared to say goodbye to the life I have created here in Geneseo. These conflicting feelings continue to grow with each passing day. Whether it’s a coping mechanism or just plain ignorance, I haven’t been able to accept this fact even as I now pack my China Night equipment away.
Anatomy or A Maze?
Labyrinth.
A look of confusion flashed across my face as I reread this word. The poem was named “Body”, so every stanza and its respective title should be referring to an anatomic structure. All the pages before and after the Labyrinth contained body structures that are found in the human body. To me, when I hear the word “labyrinth”, I imagined a complicated, irregular network of passages or paths that are difficult to navigate through. Was Everett trying to play mind games? Was there a deeper meaning to the term “labyrinth” that I didn’t understand?
Forensics and Everett
Warning: This blog post contains content relating to sensitive topics, such as murder and suicide.
This past summer, I worked in a medical examiner’s office. A medical examiner, also known as a forensic pathologist, is a medical physician who examines the bodies of people who died suddenly, unexpectedly, or violently. Their job is to determine the cause of death by conducting an autopsy on the deceased. Through this experience, I gained a plethora of knowledge in anatomy and physiology through the examination of different cases and received a glimpse of the darker side of humanity. Majority of the deceased that arrived at the office had either passed away from disease or old age. However, there were some cases where the cause of death was not natural. Cases of murder, suicide, vehicle accident, and others occasionally arrived. Police officers or family members needed the medical examiner’s help to find answers.
The Hermit’s Blog
I did not understand in the beginning, and I still do not have a good grasp of it: the semester is almost over and yet I am still sitting here, my brain glitching out as I try to partake in the behemoth that is social media. Ever since I could remember I avidly avoided getting publicly noticed on any websites or applications that require me to create and participate in social networking. Facebook, Tumblr, YouTube, Twitter, Reddit, and the list goes on. When I had to use any of these websites, I would enter under an alias name. When watching a video, admiring a picture, or reading some text (nothing illegal of course), I do everything under the radar; like Batman, once I was done, I was gone without a trace. For example, on Facebook I do not use my real name. Instead, I use the nickname that I had received when I was in high school. I never post status’s nor do I comment on other posts. I barely utilize the tools and functions that Facebook was created for, so why even make an account?
Here is where the paradox comes in.
The account was created in order to keep in contact with my friends and to create new connects with strangers. Through my experience in college I learned that majority of connections are fashioned using social media. To maintain friendships without the internet is almost impossible now a days. So, to my dismay, I was forced to enter the public network, and because I did, I believed that I had overcome my biggest online obstacle.
I was wrong.
Lorraine and Seven Men
When I was a freshman in high school, I began to volunteer at a senior center. During the school years, I would work only on Fridays, but during the summer I would work there every day. Through my experience there, I was able to meet a lovely, high-spirited senior named Lorraine. She would always greet me in the morning and wave goodbye to me when my shift was over. We would actively talk together and she would share her photo collection of puppies. I assisted her on her walks around the neighborhood and even introduced her to my dog. Lorraine treated me like her granddaughter and I began to see her as my other grandmother. The last time I saw her was the day before I left for my first day of college. I promised to keep in contact and visit her during the summer. That summer soon arrived and I was excited to see Lorraine her again. I had so many stories to tell her and an abundant amount of pictures of my new nephew to show her. However, once I arrived at the senior center, I had learned that Lorraine had passed away while I was in college.
Big Bang and Logic
“From rags and dust
a rat is formed in the cellar.
It was not there before.
Only rags and dust.”
As my group dove into the discussion on the poem, “Logic” by Percival Everett, this specific stanza caught my attention. It induced a sense of déjà vu since it sparked a memory of something I learned in the past. This stanza appears to be analogous to the Big Bang theory, which is a cosmological model that describes how the universe began. According to this theory, the universe started as a very dense and extremely hot superforce and existed as a singularity (no stars, atoms, form or structure) (Moskowitz, 2016). So, at first, the universe was simply nothing, which is exactly how the first descriptive line of the stanza begins….with no living beings.
Thermodynamics Versus Justice
There are many themes that heavily influence the characters in the movie, The Defiant Ones. However, there are two important forces that are fighting against each other to try and control the ultimate outcome of the main character’s future. These two forces are “Justice” and “Second Law of Thermodynamics.”
I define “Justice” here as the idea that, in the battle of good versus evil, good always triumphs evil; the “Second Law of Thermodynamics” refers to the law discovered by Robert Clausius. It states that the state of entropy (disorder or randomness) of the entire universe, as an isolated system, will always increase over time (Bailey). This simply means that, as time passes on, physical systems get more chaotic or disorganized. A common example of this would be a student’s bedroom. Typically, the room would exist in a very disordered state, so it would have high entropy. In order to put the room back into a state of cleanliness, energy must be put into the system. This would be in the form of the student cleaning up and organizing their room. A clean room would be organized and have low entropy. However, this state in unfavorable and difficult to maintain since it requires a lot of energy. As time goes on, we would see the entropy of the room gradually increase and revert to its highly disordered state.
Miscommunication in “I Am Not Sidney Poitier”
“You said ‘untiringly’ twice.”
“I did not.”
“Are you saying that ‘you did not’ or that ‘you did, Not’?”
“I did not say untiringly twice, Not.” (Everett, Pg 11)
This is a short excerpt from “I Am Not Sidney Poitier” that we read and analyzed in class. When I initially read this passage, I had to stop and read it over once more in a slower fashion. In this scene, two characters, Not Sidney and Betty, are talking about Ted Turner when the misinterpretation arose due to the accidental application of the first part of Not Sidney’s name. This confusion was evident when Not Sidney posed the question, “Are you saying, ‘you did not’ or that ‘you did, Not?’” It was fascinating to observe how the usage of the term “not” resulted in this miscommunication.
Usually, “not” is used as an auxiliary verb that forms the negative. However, in this instance, it acts as an individual’s name. Without proper grammar and clarification, this misunderstanding could result in unnecessary confusion. If Betty meant “I did not,” then it would mean a negative connotation. On the other hand, if she meant “I did, Not,” then it would be a positive connotation. These responses are complete opposites of each other and as a result, can relay very opposing messages.
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